I confess, that I brought this all on my self Condemned to suffer alone, like there’s nobody else When your gone, it’s like a whole part of me’s missing So I’ll keep living the lie and just hope that your listening
I remember the week my uncle died. Heck, I remember the day and almost everything about it. That’s not what this post is about though. It’s about something that I keep with me almost every second of the day.
So as normal after someone in your family passes away you go through their stuff, decide what to keep and get rid of, etc. So I was there one day after school with my grandparents and another uncle and I was looking through his office with my Grandpa. So my grandpa picked up a yellow post-it note with this quote written on it :”May your troubles be less your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door”. I found out that my Uncle enjoyed writing poems and reading them, as do I. So it upsets me that I didn’t know this about him before he passed, because I love these things too, writing is a passion of mine. This poem/quote must have meant something important to him and wanted to remember it, so I kept it. I remember reading it and automatically loving it, so I instantly put it in my wallet without really thinking and the only times I’ve taken it fully out (besides now, I have it lying on next to me to read) is when I am switching my wallet. I don’t even think my grandpa meant for me to take it realistically when he said “here you go Lauren you can keep this” because my grandpa likes to joke around and I’m guessing it was supposed to be a joke as in saying here this is all you get to keep, a piece of paper. I’m not sure if he even knows I kept and have had it for over a year now. Most likely not, as he wouldn’t even remember that moment I’m sure.
It’s a quote that I love and has even more special meaning because it reminds me of my Uncle, who we suddenly lost and will always miss. It’s written in his handwriting too, so I can always remember it.
So if you ever need something to calm you down or remind you to not take life for granted and be happy with all you do. If you even just need a pick-me up quote this is what helps me. Maybe, just because it’s from my Uncle who meant a lot to me (definitely one of the reasons) but also because I love it. Something about pulling it out of my wallet and reading it calms me and puts a smile on my face.
If you don’t even like this quote, maybe you can write your own favorite quote down and keep it with you so you can read it when you’re having a bad day. I can almost 100% guarantee it will help ease you. I would recommend keeping it in your wallet because you almost 99.5% of the time will have it with you, you never know when you’ll need money or your license. Even if you’re just at home, then you’re wallet will be there too, so a wallet is a good idea, or even just written on your wall or mirror at home.
So remember: “May your troubles be less your blessings more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door”
“Leave the memories alone, I don’t want to see the way it is, as to how it used to be. Leave the memories alone, don’t change a thing and I’ll just hold you here in my memory.”—Leave the Memories Alone by Fuel (favorite song)
Suicide. As you hear about it, you think that’s horrible, why does someone feel as though they need to do that. It’s a little different than just a little thought in your head when it’s someone you know. You know their personality, you’ve had conversations with that person. It’s complicated when you know them, not only did you lose them forever, but you were around when they were feeling helpless. Now, you’re the one who feels helpless, because you didn’t help, because you didn’t stop it. The truth is you can’t just stop their pain, as much as you wish you could, you never can.
Today I went to the wake of one my really good friends in middle school. I’ve never been to a wake of someone so young, never a wake where people were waiting in the freezing cold in a line that wrapped around the building. I hung out with him about every single weekend my seventh and eighth grade years. He wasn’t just a person I met a few times, but an actual friend. Although even if you only met him once, you’d always remember him. If you saw him at a party again, you would know his name. He had the most outgoing personality ever. He was real. He was honest. It’s a shame that he didn’t realize how amazing he truly was. The impact he’s made on people’s lives. Although, I do understand how it feels to be low. I guess that’s what makes it worse. There are so many horrible things about it, but if someone walked in a few minutes sooner, he’d still be here. His pulse was faint, but he died in the ambulance. So close. I can’t really comprehend my thoughts or figure out exactly how to write all of this, I’m not really sure what to say. I can say this, you’ve made an impact on so many people’s lives, I saw that tonight. I know You’ve definitely made an impact on my life. love you, miss you.
Honestly, I’m confused. This is all a confusing process, the original blog site I used to use was Blogger. So now I’m here, because I’m looking for change. I like to make things more interesting by mixing things up, and starting different things. I feel like it took me forever to look for a theme to use. Although, it really wasn’t me, it was the stupid scroller on the side of the page that kept messing up.
Anyways, getting to know me. Well truthfully you’ll never know me, with all the times I change; My opinions, my style, my grammar techniques, everything. I don’t know what i’m going to feel like tomorrow, how I’m going to act, or what I’m going to say. The way I see it is that no matter what others think, even their not going to be the exact same person tomorrow as they were today. They’ll change, the world will change, your life will change. So those are just some of my opinions already and my thoughts. Just me being me. Well the me I am today.
My name: Lauren: It’s considerably boring to me, the sound, the meaning, the unoriginality, all of it. It will be changed before I officially make it to the boulevard.
My hometown: St. Louis. One of the craziest cities you could ever be lucky enough to survive. Even the smaller towns are ridiculous.
I’m seventeen, A senior out of high school. I do my work online, yet through my lovely school, that I used to attend. You may wonder the reasons why, well that sucks, cause your not the only one wondering. I’m the only one who even knows the full extent, and I can guarantee will be the only one til the day I die, or well close to that day. ;)
Good dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bitchess.
Oh wait the last little things to add is that I’m a sarcastic bitch, so when reading my posts keep that in your pretty little head. I also have my moments where I feel like a philosopher, but that only comes really late at night.